Sexual Desires and Inner Darkness

//Sexual Desires and Inner Darkness
Sexual Desires and Inner Darkness 2016-11-25T03:14:26+00:00

Why is it that sexual desire can so often be associated with dark inners states and subconscious, sometimes even brutal instinctive drives?

And why are there so many variations of sexual desire? I’m going to lightly discuss some of these issues, but I’ll write a book at some time to explain them properly. You can learn a little more about sex and spirituallity in the article on this site Enlightenment is Hidden in Sex.

Sexual attraction is one of the most powerful human and animal instincts, it’s an electrical magnetic force that at its root is the energy of creation itself. For us humans it creates not only physical bodies, but it’s part of spiritual creation too and its energy is at the root of all that constitutes a person in body, mind and spirit. That’s why it’s so important to understand it, it affects you and everyone profoundly.

This essential sexual force is also the basis of the ego states and, when those ego states are modifications of sexual desire in lust, they multiply to become subconscious desires. These desires keep multiplying and changing in their nature and become what can be called dark desires, which are far from the nature of pure spiritual energy.

These lustful desires bring low energy with them and this makes all the emotions lower and feel stronger. This can lead someone to become more animalistic and even depressed. This is why when a society gives itself to sexual degeneration, other forms of degeneration such as violence, crime, corruption and a loss of basic standards follow.

Sexual desires are created and multiply when that basic force of attraction permeates into the mind (and the mind being not just thoughts, but the whole psychology). And, because sexual energy is creative, desires multiply in many different ways, forming all kinds of variations of sex.

Then thoughts generate sexual feelings, which bring about further thoughts and images. This is all part of the complexity which is created when the sexual energy goes beyond the basic magnetic attraction of opposites.

Enlightenment is creation in reverse and to become enlightened one of the things neccessary to do is to clean the sexual force of the multiplicity of dark sexual desires and return it to the pure sexual force of attraction.

To become aware of what desires you have, watch your thoughts and become aware of the different forms of sexual feeling and you’ll see the different kinds of forms of sexual desire.

If you want to change any inner state you have, you must first see it, become aware of it, and then die to it inwardly.

Sexual Alchemy is the only spiritual exercise that can fundamentally alter sexual desires in a positive spiritual way. Monks who spend years meditating don’t have the sexual work to be able to fundamentally change what they are at the most fundamental levels as they lack the utilization of the creative sexual energy. So they can meditate, attain quietness in the mind and complete stillness, but they will not change the actual nature of what they are. If they wanted to awaken in this fullest sense, they would need to use their sexual energies with the practice of alchemy.

I remember you mentioning that when you investigated lust in other dimensions you found it to be the root of all egos. Does this mean that lust, in a sexual sense, somehow plays a part in everything that we do, think, and feel, or is lust meant in a more general sense as in a driving desire for something—perhaps money, food, or physical objects for example? Or if I dig deeper and observe more closely I’ll eventually find that the desire for food or money somehow has a sexually lustful side to it?

Desires, the energies of the mind, thoughts, and feelings—all stem from sexual energy. And so every thought is modified sexual energy. I say sex rather than lust, because everything within is modified sexual energy. That energy creates and forms the basis for thoughts, feelings, emotions, and the whole of one’s psychological life. You can read all the books you like, but you will not understand yourself if you don’t understand sex.

Sometimes strong sensations in the sexual center appear as if out of nowhere, not seemingly provoked by lustful emotions or thoughts, and that feed mainly fear. These sensations can hang around a long time and the death doesn’t seem to work very well on them. I suspect these are causing havoc in my dreams. Are these just strong egos of lust? Is it just a matter of observing more closely to see their causes or working more with the death so it becomes more effective on them?

Lust goes into many different areas of psychology. It permeates everything; it permeates all thought, all feeling, and it works in the subconscious. So it can arise of its own accord, it can arise when you least expect it. But it has precise triggers—precise things which spark it off.

It can be very subtle and can create images and atmospheres, it can link itself to atmospheres and environments, it can create mental images and forms from even these, and when in that environment in ordinary life, sexual desires (egos of lust) can crop up. And in dreams there can be various environments in which the dreamer finds themselves, where they are caught up in lustful thoughts, images, sensations, actions, and so on. This is because it permeates all avenues of the psyche.

Exploring it is not an easy thing, because it requires precise observation in the three-dimensional everyday world, you also need to maintain your self-observation if you are in the astral plane, and when you wake up from dreams, try to remember them, as you’re likely to see sexual desires in those too. In this way you get to form a picture of lust and how it works. And as you go deeper into it, as you observe more, you’ll find the different layers and the various places that you go to in dreams. And you’ll uncover so much and see even the representations of the forms of lust, which crystallize and take their own shape and their own life externally from the individual, because sexual energy is creative energy, and the things which are brought out of it and created from it will then latch on to environments in their own dimension, which are felt here in the physical counterpart of that dimension.

So it takes acute observation in the three-dimensional world and a gradual clearing of the various “selves,” states, desires of lust to be able to get into the deeper levels which bring up things from the subconscious which you don’t know existed or you don’t see, and which usually appear with a feeling. The practices of alchemy and inner death help to clear the subconscious of those desires and helps to get into their esoteric side, where you are able to uncover the roots of desires as they are happening and to see their nature, what creates them, what sustains them, and how to get rid of them.

Is it possible for you to share with us more what helped you to realize the degree of harm that lust brings to human lives, how it becomes the very root of selfishness and inner darkness?

Most people think that lust is fine—it brings pleasure and reproduces the species, and therefore, how could it possibly be harmful? But when you explore deeper, you begin to see its effects, which go right into the psyche. And you will find that sex is both the root of spiritual awakening and personal degeneration. Lustful sexual desire is an enslaving force. It’s has enslaved the whole of humanity; it’s caught everybody by its desire, and it twists and turns, and alters, changes the whole nature of the individual or aspects of the individual. I didn’t like being a slave to something or having a desire which controlled me and so I wanted to be free of it.

And as I studied within myself I began to see how I worked psychologically and how lust worked. I began to study the mechanisms, and I also began to explore out-of-body experiences so that I could see that there was life beyond this world. And as part of this, I wanted to explore what was my greatest enslavement—which was lust.

And I remember in one of the first out-of-body experiences that I had, I came out of my body just on the bed in my bedroom and I looked around and there was this figure with horns which I now know to be Lucifer—it actually symbolizes something other than the devil; it’s the tempter, the light bearer—and he made apparent an ego of lust that I had been seeing on a daily basis, and I could do no other than just be lost in that sexual desire. I couldn’t fight it or anything, it felt almost like it tricked me. And then I looked in the mirror which I had in the bedroom, and to my astonishment, I found myself (just in the reflection of the mirror) in a wheelchair, looking really sick and ill. And I knew that from feeding that sexual desire, that was the result upon my consciousness, on my essence.

And so I knew very early on when I began to study myself that sex was a huge force to try to understand and overcome, to break this enslavement. And as I would study more, I would see more and more of the various forms of lust and the various ways that it operated, and I began to look into them and to change. It’s through alchemy that I really had the means to overcome them, and through the various stages along the spiritual path, particularly as the higher spiritual forces came into me. The choice then became clear between the pleasure of lust and spiritual bliss. Fortunately, as I persisted along the path, the spiritual feelings eventually became so strong, they helped to combat the pleasure of lust.

Now, lustful desire brings things to itself, it brings form to itself, to the individual who it lives in, and this binds the individual to the world, to matter, to form. And this lustful energy in itself is also then bound into inferior regions, which is the abyss, through the coccyx bone. And an energy goes down—you can’t see this physically, you see it when out of the body, occasionally you might—this goes down right into the earth. It forms the Kundabuffer, which has been represented in many cultures as the tail of demons.

And in the earth in different dimensions there are lower regions, and in these lower regions there are the energies within the person’s own psyche. And they go on various levels down until you get at its densest, which is where the root of lust lies. It’s called the Seat of Satan, and the world revolves around it; it’s a point of the densest energy (at that central point is also infinity, and the point from which an individual ascends esoterically). It has its internal counterpart for the individual and for the world. And the energy from the dense abyss goes up and as it goes up it gathers its form, and its energies from the corresponding regions of vileness as it rises up. It goes eventually into the coccyx bone of the individual and then permeates the psyche from there. And that psyche then has the effect of being hypnotized.

So it’s not just that there are desires within the individual, in thoughts, emotions, and so on, which are modified sexual energy in themselves and which feed from the sexual center, but that various states keep being pushed out and fed and sustained from the energy coming from the coccyx bone and all the influence of the abyss that’s being brought with it. And so because of this, the psyche becomes hypnotized and caught in an illusion. And these energies come at a rapid rate, so the different selves, or egos, come in and out of the person rapidly; some are sustained, as they feed off the persons energy.

Now, the thoughts, emotions, and feelings are fed from sexual energy, and when there is not enough, when the energy is used up in too much thinking, physical activity and emotions, it has to come from somewhere, because there’s only a certain amount. That energy is taken from the sexual center. That energy which was taken is not pure, it has sexual energy made lower by sexual desires in it, which then brings increasing sexual thoughts, as lust permeates the thoughts. So when someone thinks, then they soon start to think about sex. That then takes its food from the sexual centre again (draining it in the process) because it’s a sexual thought, and the energy becomes pulled from the intellect to the sexual center. When the sexual centre has its energy taken it gets it back from other centers, such as thoughts, instincts and emotions, its energy comes back in a low mixed up state.

And this process makes a person feel really heavy, low, miserable and dense. And suffering from this, lust becomes all-powerful, because the entire energies of the psyche are permeated with lust. All the energies of thoughts and emotions are all permeated with it. And lust then is permeated with thoughts and emotions, because they all start stealing from each other, and all get mixed in. And the more they mix in and the more that they are churned around, the heavier, the denser the inner states become; plus you’ve got this force coming from the coccyx and pouring out these heavy forms and energies, and then the whole of the human psyche is polluted, hypnotized and altered.

What you find in practical terms from this is that emotions become compulsive, you can’t stop thinking, or daydreaming, and lust becomes extremely strong and enslaving. And this is the state of humanity. This is how people are in the world, all of your neighbors, your friends, your colleagues, the people on the other side of the world—they’re all like this.

Meditating, being quiet, aware and still, helps to a degree because it does stop or minimize the interchange of energies from one part of the psyche (centre) to another, but it does not change the nature of the energies themselves, which are already polluted and dirty—it just quiets them down.

At night the energies of the centers and the physical body all recuperate and recover, a new day starts with each center reasonably recharged with its energies. If you stay aware and die to egos in the centers then you maintain each center of the psyche with its own energies. These energies are cleaner and carry less sexual desire, the cleanliness of these psychic centers determines how ‘spiritual’ you feel. Being clear psychically consciousness can manifest better in the psyche, undisturbed by lower energies. And in this state, with the help of alchemy, you can carry out a work to awaken, as it’s a surplus of clean energy which is needed as the basic energy to be transmuted to create solar spiritual bodies – to create oneself anew spiritually. If there is no surplus, only low, heavy, miserable energy, there is a lack of material for transformation.

Each day brings its opportunities to spend the energies of the psyche wisely, and to use them for awakening, or to spend them in lower states. The psychic centers (thoughts, emotions, etc) can be kept clear and clean for the whole day, but as soon as they get mixed up, you have to struggle to become aware. So you prevent them from getting mixed up by being as aware as you can through the day from the time that you get up, while you still have energies.

But that in itself doesn’t change the nature of the energies themselves, because they are still at a certain standard or level, and still the energy from the coccyx bone is coming up, so it becomes a very difficult fight, and this is where alchemy comes in. Alchemy changes the nature of the energies and stops the energy from rising to the coccyx bone by facilitating the awakening of the Kundalini.

So the psyche, in its ordinary state is hypnotized, it is submerged in the subconscious and is therefore in darkness, because all these lower states and the hypnotic effects, don’t allow a person to be aware, to see reality, to be here. The consciousness, which is the root of what a person really is, is then in darkness. And the darkness is all the different states, is all the modified energy. Every single feeling, thought, emotion—this is the darkness. And the darkness is connected to the bigger darkness, from the energy in a different dimension that goes from the brain, through the spine down into to the coccyx bone and into the interior of the earth, which is the abyss, and the human being like this is bound by lust and sex, and doesn’t have the means to do anything about it without inner death and alchemy. This is the issue, the human being is enslaved without alchemy, and lives in darkness, they can’t see, because the psyche is hypnotized. In itself it is that darkness.

Each ego traps a fragment of consciousness, most is trapped in this way, as you get rid of each ego the tiny part of consciousness in it is freed and joins the already free amount, which is what is used to be self-aware. So you’re extracting the consciousness which is in the subconscious, and then it’s pure, it goes back to the whole consciousness. And you keep doing that with every desire that emerges, so you bring back consciousness which was merged with darkness. And as you do it, that fragment of consciousness, has the knowledge of the darkness that contained it.

And this is how you get self-knowledge. It’s not by thinking about something; you get knowledge and wisdom because you are extracting consciousness, light, from darkness, and setting yourself free. Many people would like to be slaves of lust, but being a slave is not an intelligent way to live. It’s far better to be free, and being free, a person can be happy and peaceful.


From a talk on 5th December, 2009


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