If you gain esoteric experience, you realize how precious life is, and how precious every event in your life is, even the difficult ones. Imagine now that you’re at a point where your life has just ended and you can look back on it, see your whole life, and recall every single event. Imagine that it’s over and you’re looking back on it. How would you feel? How would feel about the things that you are going through now? Wouldn’t they have great value? It’s easy to appreciate it when it’s over, but while you go through it, it’s taken for granted. Life’s a very precious gift, one that we can thank creation and divinity for.
As we gain esoteric experience, we value life much more, and value what we go through, even the difficulties, they’re all part of the experience of life, and they all pass in time. If you’re observant, you can then use them for your own learning, so that they’re not just events which come and go, but are part of the process of your own awakening.
Q: I’m just wondering what type of experience you’re referring to? When you say “esoteric experience,” does that mean out-of-body experiences, or mystical experiences in daily life, or all kinds?
Belsebuub: The experiences of a mundane life often just happen to a person, and there are automatic psychological responses to whatever takes place. Anyone can go through life like that, but that’s not really the experience I’m talking about. Out-of-body experiences are important, but what is really important is the life which we experience through the Being, because with the Being, there is a different kind of feeling, and a different way of perceiving the world. With that way of being we capture truths as they happen within the moment. And through this, we live and experience not just in an automatic way, but can respond intelligently, being able to see more clearly the ins and outs of events. So there’s a different kind of life which brings a different kind of experience of it, and that is something that each who takes up the path is working toward.
Those who don’t yet walk along the path can aspire to taking it up if they wish to make the effort to do it. But it’s a different way of living and being, which requires the construction of the superior vehicles within to be able to feel and perceive with the Being, which then expresses itself within the vehicle of the physical body. So it’s not just having out-of-body experiences, but it’s living life in each moment in a spiritual way. And the more spiritual that a person can become, the more they can live a mystical life, then the more the Being gives its spiritual perception and feelings, and then the way that life is led takes on a wholly different meaning.
It’s unwise to restrict oneself to what is known, because we’re talking about the unknown, something vast, which can’t be measured. And for most people there is a long way to go along the journey of life to be able to really experience it in a truly spiritual way. The potential exists for each individual to create a new spiritual life within themselves; whether they do it or not is another matter.
Esoteric practice is really essential because people have ideas about what spirituality is, but when they practice and feel it, it tends to override the mind and the ideas that are held about the spiritual. But it is very difficult because there are so many different distractions. Even those who have their solar bodies and have done a work in past lives can come to these teachings and be completely frivolous about them. That’s because they have fallen into spiritual degeneration through time, not just this life, but in many lives. Life fascinates people and so when they turn up to these studies, it’s likely that they will just dabble in them and then leave, and even turn against the work, but the impulse of their Being was the thing which brought them to the teaching in the first place, as when it’s strong enough, it pushes the individual to awaken.
People get guided to find this work, but there are also forces that each individual must fight to be able to stay in it. As soon as you do this work, you can be sure there are states within you that don’t want it. And when you start to practice and wake up a little, you begin to deprive the ego states of their food, and, like hungry beasts, they start to fight to try to get it back, the amount that they were used to, and more. And so a struggle ensues, and in the beginning it can be enough to knock a person out of the work, particularly as the essence hasn’t had much time to feed from real spiritual experiences and processes. And so, even if someone knows the ideas of the teaching, the drives of the egos, the ideas and illusions of the mind can be enough to take them out, even if they have done a great spiritual work in the past. But then, it’s also their decision taken with their own free will, they have the opportunity to do the work or to leave it. Those who’ve done an esoteric work in this or in other lives, and throw it away go through a very harsh learning, the karma is harder for them, for throwing away something of great spiritual value. Having that carries a great responsibility, as the further we go along the path, the greater the responsibility we have.
People leave the spiritual work en masse, they get thrown out in the higher planes of existence, because they’re just not up to the task of awakening, they prefer the pleasures of the egos, particularly sexual ones. And so when the time of testing comes around, they’re unable to cope. They’re withdrawn over there, and then they leave the work here, and then the numbers attending drop. There’s an internal process taking place, which puts people under esoteric tests, and on top of this the egos subconsciously inflict a pressure, desiring to get what’s being deprived of them, and fighting to leave the work.
And so a person has to face a lot to be able to stick to this, and as time goes by entropy can set in, whereby each day goes by just like the one before, and nothing seems to work. It then takes a lot of willpower to pull yourself up out of it, you have to dig inside and find the strength to break out. No one can do it for you, as this is a personal, and individual work. If you don’t make the effort to come out of entropy, no one will lift you up. You are responsible for what happens to you in your life, you are responsible for staying in spiritual darkness. The ego looks for someone or something to blame, but there’s no one to blame but yourself. If you haven’t started the first mountain of the path to awakening there is no one else to blame. Each person has to realize that spiritually, they are responsible for their own action and inaction.
At a retreat in Oregon, USA 2009