How to discover more about ego states by looking into what’s in dreams. How to use dreams to change.
This is the second part of the second talk at a retreat in Oregon in 2009.
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Amazing how deep and important a message can be conveyed in just a few short minutes.
Watching this talk was good timing because I recently was given a major clue in my dreams for what I need to urgently work upon. I’m really grateful for the opportunity and I hope I can act wisely from the guidance I’ve been given.
I am having dreams of shouting and slapping my mother who is no more now and my eldest sister. Earlier I used to have dreams of them torturing me, now it has started in reverse. The reasons am shouting and slapping them in the dream is their very nature from which I wanted to run away and for which I hated them in my childhood. In real life I have not had them in my life for over 2 decades, so how do I work on these egos. I understand from these dreams that I have suppressed rage which I need to work on but how now when I do not have these people in my life anymore?
Hi there Golden Hummingbird,
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such painful episode in your life.
I think it makes sense to take that emotion/ego on its own. Sometimes in my dreams I’m shown a situation where a particular flaw or problem is highlighted in a situation with people that are not in my life any more, but as I observe that dream I get the feeling that this particular way of showing it to me is the one that would help me best understand the feeling of that aspect of the ego.
So then I don’t focus so much on the people in the dream, but the feeling of the emotion/pattern and see if I can see it in my present life. Sometimes things can be in the background and I have to make an extra effort to increase the observation of my mind and emotions, so that perception can reach to a new layer where those things are going on.
Not sure if this can apply in your case, but I thought I’d mention how it is for me. If it’s in your dream, it may be something going on at present, so you can discover it in your life. Be it underlying thoughts or emotions that influence you in a subtle way, or other things triggering them, if it’s being shown then it may be somewhere there waiting for your perception to reach it and work it out.
I wish you all the best and I hope you will be able to use that dream in order to grow.
Hi Golden Hummingbird,
I find it can be quite shocking and surprising to see this uncensored reveal of what lies within us, through our dreams.
I’ve had plenty of times when waking up thinking “I can’t believe I just did that, or allowed myself to do that. Or I didn’t think I had that in me.” But those are real things within us that lie behind the more superficial manifestations in everyday life.
I would say that even though those people are not in your life right now and neither that particular situation, it’s still very much possible that the ‘beginnings’ of these ego’s, the smaller aspects, are still present and feeding in daily life. Annoyances, feeling unjustly treated and wanting to retaliate etc. So I would say to keenly look out for these things with self-observation during the day.
It’s also useful to maximize what you can take from those dreams. So to meditate on that dream and go over every aspect of the dream scenario that you can remember. Seeing what triggers it. What do you feel is taken away from you or how do you feel harmed? In what way did the anger manifest etc. and try to explore more from there and remember instances in the past. Analysing a dream like that is best done, for me at least, right after you have it, so you can still ‘taste’ it and recollect it best.
When a retrospection/meditation practice goes well the amount you might be able to remember from the past can actually far exceed what we initially thought. If you can get your body into a good still state, concentrated mind (and perhaps start with a mantra to boost your memory) then once you get into the flow and onto the ‘train of memories’ then it’s possible to remember a lot and go quite deep.
All the best to your investigations.
Hi Golden Hummingbird,
There is really an abundance of insight we can uncover about ourselves by looking back at our childhood. Those unpleasant interactions near the beginning of our life, whether coming at us, or us reacting are so valuable, so precious, and so full of instances of ”light trapped in darkness”. By truly truly understanding the components and nature of darkness in those situations, we can actually help to free the light and regain it in ourselves. So rather then being distraught we can take hold of these memories and expose the darkness, the inner states, the egos, resentments, hate etc.. for what they are. (as they are fundamentally not who we really are).
Those early days can show us our egos in very raw and animated forms, so through analysis, meditation and reflection we can uncover the egos that were present within us (which were making us suffer) bit by bit, growing in understanding and freeing ourselves from their enslavement. (Here is an explanation to a practice I find extremely helpful even if I only have 10 min to spare: https://belsebuub.com/articles/meditating-on-an-inner-state)
These events can still be very very hard to look at, given the innocent and sensitive nature of seeing and remembering from the perspective of a child. Dreams often release many suppressed emotions that don’t have the opportunity to come out in life, but they show us from my experience, just how much of a grip those egos from our past still have on us. Our growing up situations have been set up for us so-to-speak, to help us learn, and more specifically, to go through karma. It is often the case, that difficult parent-childhood relationships come back to us in reverse, where in our past, we may have been the parent, and our parents the child, and we were the ones to unleash difficulties upon our children. In a new life, the tables may have turned and we are in the receiving end as a child to feel the repercussion and learn how such egos have an effect on others, rather then just endlessly feeding and expressing an outpour of angry or controlling egos from life to life. No doubt facing or accepting that a parent or sibling’s actions is a reflection of our own past mistakes can be very difficult and even painful. But ultimately, I think its a relief to come to terms with where our egos have come from, and be responsible for the nature of how they work. In meditation, I find it helpful to put myself in the other person’s shoes, and to be open to the insights and reflections that naturally and subtly appear. If I can become my parent, and feel and imitate their movements, I sometimes can find a flavor that shows me that I have this ego, and that perhaps I enjoy the negative nature of what they are doing, even in its smallest forms. Clues like this help me to see the ego much deeper then what my mind tries to tell me I think I know about it. Beyond what is right and wrong. The egos, the suffering, the hate, the resentment etc… this is not us, this has nothing to do with our true selves, this is all temporary, and these egos have no respect for our wellbeing, even if they come to justify all the wrong that has ever been done to us. They only want one thing, to continue to exist, and to feed on our memories. But the work and internal process of freeing ourselves from darkness that Belsebuub has explained, to remove the egos, to meditate on inner states etc.. can fundamentally eliminate egos from our life, so that we can finally experience life without their control, and take our life in our own hands. Being at the receiving end of pain and difficulty can have new meaning in our life and in our pursuit of self-knowledge, as every opportunity teaches us about the way our inner responses work. Learning then has no boundaries.
That’s a very interesting point about the parent-child roles being reversed from past lives Olga. There’s a lot to reflect on and learn from there.
Hi Golden Hummingbird,
I agree that it can be shocking to see the contents of our psyche laid out in front of us in dreams, especially when we catch ourselves doing things we wouldn’t normally do in our daily lives. However, as Pavlin and Karim mentioned, if we look carefully at our thoughts and behaviours during the day, we may find subtle aspects of certain egos, which we are still allowing to feed.
I can remember a particular dream from many years ago, where I’d committed a crime and felt very guilty about it. Fortunately, I’ve found that by working on reducing egos during the day, dreams of that nature have become much rarer. What I tend to see more of now are particular people I knew from my childhood and early adulthood, who I associate with particular inner states. So even though I haven’t seen some of these people for 20 years or more, I know that if they pop up in my dreams, it’s an indication that I need to work harder on fighting against the related egos during the day.
Another thing I’ve found over the years is that all the while we have a particular negative emotion within us, there will always be people in our lives who serve the role of “pushing our buttons” to trigger it off. If I’ve been trying to work on reducing my negative reactions towards a certain person, whenever I or they have moved onto a new location, someone new has come into my daily life to take their place and to continue to expose the same states within me.
Hopefully over time, you will be able to spot the smaller manifestations of those strong emotions you noticed in your dreams, so that you can reduce those inner states in your daily life and in your dreams too. I wish you all the best with your inner investigations.
Thanks for the reminder about looking at our dreams Belsebuub. I feel that it is urgent to pay more attention than what I give credit for.
This talk from Mark has stamped the importance of working constantly throughout the day so as to receive the knowledge by night. Which in turn pin points the areas to focus daily. With both working hand in hand one would assume good progress could be made.
Thank you Lara & Belsebuub.
This Mark’s talk is a good and precious reminder for me how urgent is to work on our ego we see in our dreams.
It also seems that somehow the universe helps in our efforts to progress. Furthermore, for me, it is a proof that we are not alone in that process and actually we have the care and love from higher beings.
Thank you, Mark and Lara, for sharing this video
Its so true what belsebuubs explains in this video. Whenever i study my dreams i receive great insights into areas needing the most attention in daily life. . I also find that it really helps to pray to my divine mother sincerely before i sleep and ask her to show me what needs most attention.
Thankyou Belsebuub for this inspiring video, i hope to use my dreams more often to guide me forward!
It’s a real gift and help to be shown what inner states and situations we need to focus on.
It feels so nice to subtly feel that there’s a work of change happening within (even if it’s subtle and slow, and hard work.) When the different parts of studying come together, self-observation in the day, meditation in the evening, the deeper insights given at night, when it all comes together and a deeper learning is gained and we work with the Divine Mother, feeling very subtly a sort of inner cleansing going on. Just getting freer of so much nonsense.
I also like the point about the ideal time being now. This is our life. Rather than clinging on to the excuse that we need such-and-such, and that at such-and-such time we’ll ‘…….. ‘.
It’s much better to put everything we’ve got into our day now. And if we do that properly things will actually start to move.
Thanks Belsebuub another short but very valuable message, I have been seeing reoccurring defects within my dreams lately that really need more reflection I will be looking into these more deeply from now on, I find I can tend to forget about these at times as the day goes on
I agree Richard, it’s a valuable message, I also need constant reflection and improve my daily work.
It would be so amazing to always be connected to our Divine Mother who can lead us to The Father..
Where is that ideal time to do the work? When will that problem be sorted so that I can finally get on with things! When will ‘those’ people just disappear so that finally, my life will be at peace and I can work on my enlightenment…
How ironic, but how intensely true. It is amazing that we have dreams to show us the most urgent things, but I find, when we have these kinds of ridiculous justifications throughout the day, we ultimately never learn, no matter the help that pours out to us. Some things are just so obvious, so close that they are right in front of us, right in our hands, in our lives, in our relationships, in our most memorable situations, and on top of that we have all this external guidance and nudges to realise what we are doing wrong.
Why is it then so hard to see our own justification to delay and excuse?
The kingdom of heaven is always at hand. Its incredible how our lives have been created to give us all the learning and opportunities we need.
This talk came to me as a valuable reminder – there was a certain ego-driven situation that came repeating in my dreams last night. I did some work on it during a day, but it feels not to be sufficient. Looking forward to meditate on the related ego before going to sleep tonight.
Thank You!