Two videos from a talk in Oregon, USA in 2008.
How to be aware and look within:
Simple directions on how to be aware in the present moment.
How to look within to understand yourself and bring about inner change, peace and change to your life.
Illness and its karmic causes:
How to face up to illness, especially for those on a spiritual path.
And also looking at the causes and effects of illness that may exist beyond the physical world.
Thank you very much for posting that Belsebuub. The part about keeping going when things are difficult really rang a bell for me. Although it’s not illness that’s been causing me to lose momentum (more other challenges in life), it’s something I’ve been pondering lately. I’ve noticed a few times, over the last 12 mths or so particularly, where I’ve had all this enthusiasm and started to build some momentum and then along came something I’ve had to deal with and it’s taken all my focus and energy and there’s been nothing left for my inner work, and I’ve lost any momentum I’ve had.
It’s interesting also to ponder things I’ve done or not done that have had an impact on my physical body. Where, as you have said, “we have no one to blame but ourselves”. How my actions, or lack of them, has caused me to then have to spend time and energy I may not have otherwise had to spend, as a result of certain egos; gluttony and laziness etc.
Also, I’ve found there are some physical challenges I’ve had to deal with, that have been almost like a gift; when I think how they’ve been the catalyst that has led me to learn more about health and nutrition and so forth; and I wouldn’t have done so without them.
Thanks again for this great video its always very inspirational and a real boost watching these, the profound knowledge you share is second to none
Thanks for posting these and reminding us. That’s an amazing story from John about your hospitalisation. And the story about the refugee woman too Gabrielle.
For some time now, when I get even the slightest illness, I look back over the last couple of days and can almost always see where it came from. I’ve noticed that when I address the cause (my behaviour /actions/attitude that I have seen), ask for help and take care of myself, it passes very quickly.
You should get medical checks too though, as many things need physical treatment to heal.
Thank you for reminding us about what causes an illness. I can very much relate to the point you mentioned that our attitude is important when facing an illness. I was ill for a long time and I came to a point where I could just pray and accept the situation rather than feeling low and miserable because of it. The prayer helped to find out the solution but that in itself carried a huge amount of sacrifice – I had to sacrifice some very deeply rooted pleasures but by doing so I noticed how my inner work has taken another level. I feel there are answers everywhere around us but it takes a lot of courage to actually accept what we need to do – to me it feels like we need to detach ourselves from the very life we love so much and then we are able to truly overcome an illness. .
Thanks a lot for sharing your story and what you have learned Tina!
“…we need to detach ourselves from the very life we love so much…”
I find it really unbelievable sometimes how people are not able to give up their ways of life, even if they know there is a solution/healing, etc. I heard expressions like “ if I give up this and that, then what kind of life is that? That’s not life anymore…” They are unable to see that by giving up those ways and those habits, a new life and new opportunities would open up that they can’t even imagine in their old state.
I can also see how this applies not just in the case of an illness, but with any habit/ego we are stuck with. We stick to our ways of behaving, judging and acting so much, that we are not able to see or understand that by getting rid of it a new understanding would arrive and the new doors would open in our lives. I guess this is what can be called materialism too (not just the direct attachment to things), as we are attached to the ways we think this material reality should be unfolding. At least that’s what I am finding for myself lately, and its definitely easier said than done…
Can you please explain meditation more? We are not supposed to think about the ego-filled situation during retrospection exercise, but look at it with concentration objectively? And what do we do with the judgemental thoughts we get during that time? What does “deeply reflect upon it mean in order to find something about it which we do not know”.
Hi Nirav, Welcome :)
What’s explained in these articles may help with some of your questions. You could check them out if you haven’t already:
https://belsebuub.com/articles/analyzing-an-inner-state
https://belsebuub.com/articles/meditating-on-an-inner-state
And there will be practices described here: http://rememberingthegnosticmovement.com/practices/ including Meditation on an Ego/Analysis of an Ego.
Great video, inspiring information about the Path. Thanks Mark
I remember some of those times you were very ill, in particular the day we rushed you to hospital and the doctors confirming that you’d had a heart attack. The next day you were completely healed and to my amazement the doctors could not find a trace of the trauma.
Gosh John, how incredible is that?!
Thanks for these videos Mark.
It seems you just got to keep going no matter what, bear your cross and keep going. You’ve therefore got to have it clear what the goal is and to really really want that. Lukewarm just does not cut it.
That’s amazing, thank you John for sharing that. To me, it shows the possibilities that are there when somebody is doing the spiritual work 100%. Very inspiring.
Wow! Thanks for sharing that, John.
An incredible miracle! Thank you very much John for sharing this.
Thank you for posting these videos. I have recently watched the one on health problems. It was really interesting to hear how karma works in relation to physical illness and problems. It also makes sense how one’s level of trustworthiness can be seen during those difficult times in life. I have been contemplating some of these points recently. I wanted to share a few stories that have inspired me regarding fulfilling responsibility during times of illness (or tough times).
A while ago, someone I work with was not performing as usual, and so I reached out to see if everyone was ok. She explained how she had five children, with the oldest being 8 years old. One became sick, and then the rest did. Then, she also became sick.
While she was able to take a break from working, I saw how there were certain duties from which she simply could not take a break. Even while she was sick herself, she had to take care of her children, all of whom were also sick. No one else was able to take care of the children, so she just did what she had to do to ensure everyone was taken care of.
Another story that inspired me in a similar way was of a refugee woman, named Doaa, who was in a boat that sunk. She couldn’t swim, but her fiance got her a tube to float in before he drowned. Over time, she watched so many people drown. Three different people came to her asking her to take their babies/children. One child passed away soon after. She floated with the other two babies. Despite the hunger, exhaustion, watching the fiance’s fate and the suffering, she held them and sang to them. Two of the babies survived with her until they were rescued by a ship (one passed away soon after) because Doaa didn’t give up on them.
They had all been in sea like that for four days before the ship noticed them (and that was after two hours of Doaa yelling at the ship). It must have come just in time. (I heard about Doaa in a talk by Melissa Fleming: http://tinyurl.com/z6ygq2g).
The first situation was an everyday life struggle situation, and the other was an extreme situation. From these two, I learned that there are circumstances in which people may be depending on us in a serious way, with no alternatives. Then, even when we are not well, sometimes we have to ensure the welfare of those who are dependent on us (and then a rescue ship will arrive! :)
Thank you for sharing Gabrielle. Both those examples were very touching. I can relate a little bit to this, as a few years ago I had been suffering from something like chronic fatigue that would not go away. For a while, I thought I had a flu, but it would go on and on, and I could not take a break from the work anymore. So I just worked despite not being well, and it was not a good situation to be in, as I could feel how I am stretching my body to its limits, because it needed to rest. Whenever I could, I would lie down, feeling my limbs twitching and joints aching. But it was in a period when I could not afford to stop working, so I just carried on, until a point came that I could afford to leave everything and take a long break to heal myself properly.
I think in these situations, what is most difficult is this awareness of self-harm that one has to inflict upon himself, and yet there does not seem to be any other alternative at that point.
Thanks for sharing that, Lucia. That must have been really difficult.
During that time you described, do you feel like you also gained from the experience of working through it?
Best,
Gabrielle
Hi Gabrielle,
I just felt like it was something I needed to go through (either due to karma or some kind of preliminary test, I am not sure), as there was no other way for me at that time. I also felt like I needed to be active and search for healing, so I did and tried different things, which was sometimes difficult, as the doctors were not sure about the proper diagnose.
Then when the period came that I could afford the rest, (due to changed personal circumstances) it felt like my ordeal was over and now I could rest and focus on healing, even though it took about 3 months until I completely recovered from that point on.
I remember an interesting thought I had at a certain point though, when things were quite bad and the load of work too big and my tiredness extreme, I wished if I at least could to do all that work for some kind of spiritual purpose (like helping humanity) instead of just for a mere survival. So maybe that showed me how I needed to value the opportunities to help humanity, even though they may be tiring sometimes, because if I don’t value them and complain, then my karma can bring me the same suffering anyway, and even without a chance to progress spiritually.
Thanks for explaining this, Lucia. It sounds like quite an intensive situation. It is great to hear that you finally had the opportunity to recover fully and to gain those insight, as well.
“I learned that there are circumstances in which people may be depending on us in a serious way, with no alternatives”
– Thanks Gabrielle for these stories and sharing your conclusion, its a good point to reflect upon.
Thanks for sharing those stories Gabrielle. The second one in particular is an incredible testament to what is possible when we endure. The fact that Doaa shouted at the ship for two hours after floating in the sea for four days is incredible in itself. She must have had a tremendous will to survive – imagine seeing so many drown and being beyond exhaustion, but then as the hope of rescue appears, somehow summoning up a last scrap of energy to call for help.
I think this story is strongly related to the inner work, as it shows how endurance brings its own rewards, even though the light at the end of the tunnel may be completely obscured.
I can also relate to the first story. A couple of years back, I was working a few hours a week while severely ill. At the place where I worked, there was a lot of slacking off and sloppy practice in the team and due to circumstances, I eventually worked shifts as a lone member of staff. I knew that the assistant manager enjoyed reading through the TV guide when she worked this shift and it would have been easy to also slack off with no-one watching. But I felt a sense of responsibility in that job to ensure that things did get done, particularly as they were not being done by others.
I think that trying to be responsible in circumstances where there are so many excuses to not do something brings us a discipline, which we can then apply to be more productive when we regain our health. I have also found that, as with Doaa, help does eventually come when we endure, even though it may seem distant for so long.
It seems dangerous to work while you’re severely ill, I wouldn’t recommend anyone doing that. Survival in a life or death situation like the example of Doaa is different, she had to hold on to stay alive.
Thanks very much for giving this sensible perspective on my comment Lara. I agree that it’s not wise or advisable to push ourselves in any situation where the body needs to recover from illness, as we also have a responsibility towards our own health and wellbeing and if our health deteriorates to a certain level, it may actually interfere with our ability to practice the inner work fully, or cause other serious consequences to our physical body.
So just to clarify to anyone else reading, in the case I mentioned, I had already reduced my hours to a handful per week, but didn’t yet have the full medical diagnosis that would enable me to stop working completely. Once the diagnosis came, I immediately stopped working in that job, as I then had an alternative means of supporting myself.
I wouldn’t want to promote my case as being any kind of example to aspire towards. It was just a difficult situation, which I needed to endure at the time and tried to go through responsibly. I definitely don’t encourage anyone to deliberately cause harm to themselves, or seek out situations in which they will suffer, in the belief that this means they are somehow really fighting hard with the inner work. I remember Mark responding to a question in one of the audio talks, where he said we certainly don’t need to go out looking for situations that will provoke difficulties in our attempts to see the egos, as every situation that we need to learn from will appear in its own time, during the normal events of our lives, if we are acting correctly.
Thanks for the posting these talks – I’ve gained a lot of insight from them. I definitely need to further reflect on the topic of illness, its purpose and value in life and the efforts required in dealing it with while applying the internal work.
Seeing these brings back great memories from the time they were filmed. Glad to see them up and have a chance to revisit and apply the important messages within them.
Thank you deeply Mark for these beautiful and very strong videos. Providing awareness this way uplifts and inspires me so deeply, reminds me of a lot of things. Listening about illness gives me some understanding about the wider and true point of view of it and this supports and helps me face myself and the new circumstances that have come up which I don’t like and make me suffer.
Thank you again deeply for this precious help and guidance, thank you.
HA! “I’m writing a different kind of book.” That was so funny to me.
Thanks very much for posting these. I agree with others on here that even though I’ve heard awareness explained before in various ways, it still had a refreshing impact. Must put to practice.
Thank you so much for keeping these reminders coming through. Just recently I had a 24 hour fleeting illness, which I can really see now as a little gift – such unusual emotions arose in me, my behavior was quite uncharacteristic. Though it’s uncomfortable, hearing this helps me to remember that self-knowledge is not an easy achievement. But it’s worth it.
Yes, I can relate to what you said Ella about how illness can be a gift in a way, as it also brings the opportunity to see many inner states within us, which would have otherwise remained hidden. As Belsebuub mentions in the talk, it’s easy to miss so much about our own psychology when circumstances are favourable to us, but which we can expose when we go through illness.
Despite the physical suffering that illness entails, I’ve found the hardest part of long-term illness has been in relation to my interactions with others. It can be quite disheartening when we are pushing our body to its limits, or even beyond its limits and suffering the repercussions of this, only to be chastised for not operating at the level of a healthy person, or have people react angrily at the inconvenience we have caused them.
There is not usually an understanding in society of the effects of illness, unless it is immediately visible to others, while at the same time, there are many serious or even terminal illnesses which are not visible to a casual observer, but which have a huge impact on the person experiencing it. So it makes complete sense that we would need to face illness as part of our inner work, as although its effects can be devastating, the situations it provokes can in turn expose a lot of the negativity within us, ranging from pride and anger to anxiety and depression. Life-threatening illnesses, such as the heart attack which Belsebuub himself faced, would no doubt bring their own fears and internal chaos too.
When our body’s ability to function becomes so impaired and the time we have available becomes so limited, it can also bring about an internal discipline to forgo pleasure, in order to do what is essential, along with an understanding of the transience of our own lives and the urgency for inner change, as we see that nothing is guaranteed. As with many difficulties, I think we can gain a lot of psychological strength when we go through illness, as we gain a knowledge and experience of what it’s possible to face and overcome, which can then give us an increased confidence to face unknown challenges in the future. As you said: “self-knowledge is not an easy achievement. But it’s worth it”.
Thank you for posting that video on Illness. It seems obvious you gained this knowledge by going through a lot yourself.
I feel quite fortunate with my general level of health. In those times where I’ve been temporarily ill it’s been a very good reminder, bringing the fragility of life in a physical body to light. We need our physical body for our psyche to function here and if it’s in pain it’s….., you can’t really escape from it. Even maintaining self-observation and clearing ourselves from the inner states that come up can be difficult, as it seems that also needs a certain energy and I feel I can’t use ‘willpower’ in the same way as I would when I’m healthy. So I just try my best to be gentle and be in the best state I can be.
And apart from treating the sickness as best as I know, the only thing I can really turn to in those times is prayer. It’s obvious to me at that time how dependant we are. How physical life is not that ‘secure’ as we might normally feel when we’re healthy and this is something often quickly forgotten.
I also think illnesses have a certain reason, cause and purpose.
Thanks for explaining about facing illnesses with such wisdom and clarity, it’s very useful to have heard, so as to remember it in facing such situations
Thanks so much for posting these.
So much of a valuable information! Just watching your video about awareness helped me to get back that profound feel of clearly being in the now :) …Your explanations about tackling sicknesses also deeply resonate within me. Thank you for sharing with us your message!
Thank you Belsebuub, this was so refreshing to watch, even if I may intellectually understand the concept of being aware, the cup can never be too full. I felt like I needed some spiritual nourishment, and this was just the right dosage to lead me on my way for more : )