Hidden deep within the mind is the realm of inner darkness, root of the subconscious and the egos.
The light of consciousness can illuminate the darkness within. The darkness can be destroyed, releasing light and with it the knowledge of darkness.
As light gathers more light it illuminates the way on the return journey to source consciousness.
The third segment of a talk in Oregon, USA in 2008.
Thanks for that Mark, a powerful talk, I really needed that. I always appreciate how you explain things in a way that just goes straight to the core on such a profound level. I find it’s so easy to forget the basics and how they really work. And when I make the efforts, it makes me realise how little I’ve really done over the time I’ve known about this work. I find I’ve had lots of “how could I have missed this?!” moments of late. And I feel sad about the time I’ve wasted. The strength of the pull of life should never be underestimated. I’ve realised lately how futile it is to try and serve 2 masters (one of them being a mundane existence) and expect to make any headway spiritually. I really hope I’ve finally learned my lesson and can get on with what really matters in life. Once again, thank you.
It seems like I had a revelation tonight. I have been trying to astral project like crazy and have had no success even when trying for hours at a time. It seemed like my inner voice started telling my something by asking me questions. The first question was, How did you get your spiritual awakening? Was it because you were trying to astral project? My answer was definitely revealing to me. I didn’t care about astral travel before my spiritual enlightenment. My inner self then asked me another question. What do you hope to find while astral traveling? Have I not given you the answer already? My answer was that it is true that I have already been given the answer, and all my time trying to travel astrally and all my time spent on my computer researching is now becoming a waste of time since I already know my fulfillment is based upon how much time I spend trying to Love everyone unconditionally, and I get huge fulfillment by asking God to make my relationship more like a father and son. That is what I need more than anything. Before and during my spiritual awakening I had spent most of my day talking to God and begging him for the communication and relationship in the form that a Father loves a son. If my Dad could love me as much as he does, then couldn’t God love me even more since God is my only real Father. I needed to be loved and cherished by him and my whole existence revolved around this. Every gift I have been given from God has revolved around these practices. I have spent countless hours trying to meditate and astral travel and it has not helped me. I replaced my continual prayer and and talking to God with my infatuation with astral travel, and almost all my gifts have left me. I had been ignoring the only gift that has stayed which was my ability to pay attention to the advice that comes from within. I don’t know if this is coming from my inner self or God or a spiritual guide, but it is definitely real. I lost my ability to completely feel the emotions of everyone around me.
I spent most of today asking God for help, and telling him I am sorry for abandoning him. My inner self made me think of a parable from the bible which I don’t even know if I totally believe in. It was about a man that God made the wisest man in the world, and the most fit to judge. This wisdom seemed great, but didn’t help him on his spiritual journey. I think that was my lesson.
It seems like the only thing that seems to be important for me is to exude love until that is what I become. After my sincere prayers and asking God for more progress, he seemed to answer my prayers. Suddenly, I could start to feel others around me. Tears started streaming down my face, and I could no longer talk without crying. Abundant energy seemed to almost explode right through the top of my head, and my body was left feeling chills and having goose bumps everywhere. I could feel peoples emotions for that moment again and I can relate with the love that is needed. I want to truly see people’s light truly conquer their darkness. No knowledge is needed for this. I can find almost any random person at a grocery store or anywhere and show them unconditional love, and just watch the light overcome in this person. The light just needs a start to devour the darkness. Even a person who doesn’t think they have a heart anymore can radiate light and overcome their darkness from something as simple as being shown unconditional love.
I have always prayed that God would give me the courage and love to die for his cause on earth. It seems that maybe that will never be needed because the simplest of things seems to plant change as much as anything, but I hope that if the day ever comes, I could be courageous and willingly give God back the life that he created.
I don’t know if astral travel will ever be in my future, but for now I can at least see that I am not ready for it, or that it is simply not needed to give to God what is his.
Hi Steve,
That sounds like a deeply moving and powerful prayer and subsequent experience you had. There’s a lot of what you said that I also feel in my heart as well: a longing to truly love others, for light to grow in the world, and for us all to be closer to God (like a father-son relationship). Personally, I find that being able to astral travel has helped me a lot in this regard.
There many states I have within that go against love: frustration with others, condescension, selfishness, anger, and the list could go on and on. While I do work to live more in the consciousness and be compassionate, I find I invariably fall into these lower states to greater or lesser degrees each day.
I’ve found a lot of the guidance I’ve been given in out of body experiences has related to my personal efforts to overcome my defects, and has helped me to overcome some of these obstacles and to have more love and understanding.
Another thing that might seem “out there”, but is very real for many of us, is that Angels really do exist, and we can receive teachings from them and speak with them in the astral. Having direct contact with spiritual beings has touched me profoundly and deeply, and in those experiences I’ve felt so close to God.
Of course if you don’t want to astral travel right now, that’s totally up to you – I don’t mean to put pressure on you. I just wanted to let you know how astral traveling might very much be in lines with your spiritual goals and either way, I wish you all the best in your spiritual pursuits.
Mike, thanks for you thoughts. I still really want to astral project, but I was going about it the wrong way, and that is what I am stopping. I was so obsessed with astral projection that I would be trying all day and night and not have any results. I was losing sleep and lost track of every single thing that was important. Astral projection was all that was on my mind. I have never tried so hard in my life at something and failed so hard like I did with astral projection. I stopped going out of my way to be so kind to people and stopped praying to God all day like I used to. I replaced all of my free time trying to project. I got the message loud and clear that my obsession was not healthy for me spiritually, and was doing the opposite of what I wanted to accomplish in the first place which is total spiritual enlightenment. Even though I would eventually like to succeed at astral projection, I also understand that it isn’t necessary. I don’t need to ask for advise in the astral plane since I am already being talked to from either an angel, or God, or an inner self of some kind right here in the physical plane. If I take the time to listen, I get my answers right here in the physical. I feel that even if I always fail at astral projection, I am still in great hands. My father understands what is just right for me at the exact time I need it.
I also completely know what you mean about the states that go against love. I am just finally getting better with these states. It was actually this very last spiritual enlightenment I just had that made me huge progress in this area, and I pray that I can sustain it, and for the first time in my life I am highly confidant I can sustain it. This is the first time I can ever remember recognizing these bad states and being extremely thankful for them to the point I was crying because I was so thankful for these states because I finally understand them. They were never a curse like I thought. It has made me realize that I can’t grow or test my growth in these areas unless these states happen. I used to view them as a curse and cry out to God to make them stop, but now I realize that without these states I can’t accomplish anything and grow spiritually on Earth. I have always been aware of these states, but couldn’t calm myself even though I was aware. I have a great example because I am sure that God gave me these circumstances to prove something to me. There is a person that is always super rude to me. About 6 months ago this person said something extremely mean to me. I was mad for about 30 minutes before realizing that anger is not good. I was able to talk myself into using this as a growing experience and pray for the mean guy instead. Even though that was progress, I still couldn’t fully curb my anger even though I was sure that I let the anger go. It still ate at me for a few days even. Just this morning this same guy said something to me that was super evil. I could feel some anger for maybe 30 seconds, and then immediately felt sorry for this guy. He is being rude on purpose and isn’t growing himself spiritually. I want to help this man. I could feel how controlled he is by this evil, but he can’t see it. He is blind. The amazing part for me with this experience was that I was in control and turned my anger completely off so fast that it almost never happened.
Another thing also happened to me, but I’ll give some background that I used to be too disgusted to ever tell anyone. I don’t care to hide anymore. I am who I am, and I am proud of the sicknesses I have overcome. How can I be a good example for humanity if I haven’t mastered my evils. At about the age of 10 I got addicted to pornography. This addiction has followed me forever. I used to run away from this addiction. Even a picture on the internet could cause me problems and I would have to run away from the computer, and make myself do something else, but I couldn’t overcome the lustful feeling even when running away from it. I would envision demons on the faces of these women to make me disgusted and get the lustful feeling to stop. It was such an overwhelming problem. This latest enlightenment helped me in this area also. I saw a picture at the bottom of an article I was reading. My first few seconds had the lustful state try hard to get me to mess up, but instead it was different this time. I didn’t run. I looked at the picture and felt so sad that this girl is on the internet in this way. I instantly was told why I always had these problems. I seek love desperately. I always viewed the act of sex as the ultimate way to show love and acceptance. The voice from within asked me if a prostitute loves every person she sleeps with for money. I immediately understood that sex isn’t what shows love. Love comes from the heart. You can’t make someone love you, but it is so ultimate when they do and it comes from the heart. The weird thing is that this answer was right in front of me, and was so obvious, yet I was blinded and couldn’t see. I feel so thankful for my inner voice. It is helping me to shed my ignorance. It is helping me to lift the veil so I can see.
If anyone has any tricks or tips what worked for them to astral project, please let me know.
Hi Steve,
For me, the best thing that has helped with astral projection (and waking up in dreams) has been getting awareness during the day working well, and concentrating on one thing at a time throughout the day. As Mike alluded, astral experiences can be very powerful and inspiring, although it is not one of the key components of the path.
A big part of improving awareness has been understanding inner states (aka egos, like the anger you mention), through self-observation and meditative type practices. There are a few articles on the site that touch on this – here are a couple:
https://belsebuub.com/articles/self-observation
https://belsebuub.com/articles/analyzing-an-inner-state
When the Self-Knowledge for Spiritual Awakening book is available I believe this will be covered in-depth. Detailed practice descriptions will also be included on the Remembering The Gnostic Movement site soon.
One point to note though is that it hasn’t been recommended to meditate on lust as it can easily take over once it gets into the mind, so it’s best to work on removing it in the moments it arises.
All the best.
Hi Steve,
Those are some amazing experiences and observations you’ve had. It’s quite true, but hard to see and understand, that by our negative states arising, we actually are given the means to grow. Every negative thought, anxious feeling, temptation to put off for tomorrow what needs to be done today, and so forth, can be seen and overcome. And when we do overcome something like that, there is freedom gained.
Jon and Michael gave you some great links to articles about self-observation and the esoteric side to sex. From what you’re describing about your own efforts to not be angry and to overcome lost, it already sounds like you have cultivated some powers for self-observation, so you might get a lot out of the self-observation and alchemy articles.
On the notion of astral tips, I’ve always had the most success with astral travelling through “waking up in dreams”: dreaming, but coming to the realization that I’m dreaming while the dream is taking place. Then, I can clear away all the subconscious junk that I’m seeing, and be conscious in the world of dreams (same place we go as when we astral project). I find the biggest factor in these experiences is my awareness in daily life: the more consciously I live each day, trying not to be swept up in emotions and the likes, the more I’m able to wake up in dreams. Reality checks (asking myself if I’m dreaming throughout the day and doing little tests), as explained in the Astral Codex, also help.
So maybe a small thing you could add to your day is questioning if you’re dreaming as often as you can remember to do so. After all, we’re dreaming almost one-third of our lives and we seldom question… You may just find yourself questioning that in a dream and discovering it really is a dream…
Hi Steve,
I just wanted to say I can really relate to your desperation to have an astral experience! It’s such an incredible thing, when I first heard people talking about it openly in the Gnostic Movement, I was so keen to experience it. For me, it was when I wasn’t trying that i had my first experience – I was just lying under trees napping after a long walk, but with a heart full of love for the world around me and that sense of ‘presence’ you speak of.
I just wanted to say I’m sure it will come to you, we all have different obstacles to overcome, and it seems like in your keenness there’s some tension being built or emotions that are overpowering the practice. I’d suggest you don’t loose your interest and that naturally your attempts will become more relaxed. But as others have said, it’s not the most important thing for our spiritual transformation, not by a long way, though it can give a motivating boost and spiritual feelings. More important is that sense of having an open line of communication with something spiritual within and without, which it sounds like you’re experiencing in great waves. This is a wonderful quality. Some people can astral project but don’t have this yearning for God. What then? Become a spy for the government? : – )
Wishing you much strength on your inner journey during this period and welcoming you here to this site. It really is a special place for spiritual guidance, as are the sister-sites, The Spiritual Sun, Belsebuub Biography and The Conscious Reporter.
Hello Steve,
I also took a while to have my first astral experience and I found as mentioned by Jon that I needed to “get awareness working well during the day and concentrate on one task at the time”.
As you’ve discovered working on yourself to be a better person during the day is a very good approach to connect with The Divine and I would recommend to keep up this approach during the day.
From my experience working on myself during the day is the best way to verify God during the day and also at night when I sleep.Thankfully The Teachings of Belsebbub have given me all the tools to verify that it’s real.
You may like the article on the topic in the link below from The Spiritual Sun website.
http://www.thespiritualsun.com/practices/texts/essene/learning-during-sleep-an-excerpt-from-the-essene-gospel-of-peace
Steve,
You remind me of myself.
I was lucky enough to have Mark teach me . I had a similar problem to you re: Astral Travel.
I spoke to Mark before class and he gave me some valuable advice. Mark advised me that the process should be gentle.
I repeat the process should be gentle. If the process becomes overwhelming, that is you are obsessed, it won’t work. For example I noticed that would complete my meditation session with my fists clenched and my body in contortions. I ten used what Mark told me … be gentle .,.. take a deep breath and focus on what I was doing. I should always be relaxed and pay attention to very part of my body.
]I use this advice to this day which leads me too.
WHEM THR STUDENT IS READY THE MASTER WIL ASPPEAR
Steve .. as you have shared I will share the ultimate experience.
The year 1999. Spiritually I was going nowhere and I was in turmoil. My life was going nowhere and in regards to the work I was regressing. I demande answers now.
It was a hot, humid Sydney night and I could not sleep. Even though I aw in turmoil my thoughts were on one subject matter as I woke in a beautiful library .
The Master Appears – This beautiful library was beyond description and alive. I slowly looked around the room and I saw a book on a stand. I then looked again and I saw a magnificent being. This being was about 15 feet high and wore scarlet and golden yellow robes. This being has no face instead of a face – a beautiful light came out. In this beings right hand there was a sword. The sword was held upright and fire came out of the sword. this was NO ORDINARY SWORD. The fire that came out od the sword appeared to be a crystraline diamond color – way to difficult to describe.
I asked the being a few questions. I pointed to the book and the pages turned automatically. In response to a question the book would turn to a page. When I looked closer the writing that appeared on the page appeared to be Enochian script and it depicted a whole chapter of my life. I woke up feeling refreshed and alive. The problems in y life were still there but I had an amazing strength and hope.
Steve .. the magnificent being was my master. By master I mean the real me. when AL ego is remove and my consciousness increases .. that is what I will become. The upturned sword meant that my master is active.
I was lucky enough to see my master. Marl told me that one only sees their master if things are going really well OR if things are going really badly which was the case in my life at that time.
Steve … use my example and you are right your internal father and the real you are there … ALWAY.
Frosted Seagull, thank you very much for the response. Everyone in these responses has been super helpful. This particular response left a big impression on me, especially since my life is taking such turns. I am beating all of my egos or sins at an alarming rate. This world is changing for me, and I am having a very hard time relating to it, but feel good about my journey ahead. I have been fasting lately which has made my spiritual experiences increase. My inner voice is loud and clear, and I no longer struggle to overcome sin. It feels easy to just exercise my free will. I am fully in control of myself. I don’t know how I ever struggle before. I feel like God is with me every step of the way which is almost the only thing that gives me enough energy to keep moving on. I was Catholic and still go to the Catholic Church even though I only use it as time to ask God for help. The traditional mass seems crazy to me, but I don’t like the Christian type masses where it seems like people are looking for attention. They are always slayed in the spirit, but I always catch them doing stuff that is off, and I have always been bothered by what I consider fake “speaking in tongues.” I keep feeling other people’s thoughts and even in church these people are super self absorbed. People hide themselves, but I can see who they really are. I can feel when they are condescending or mean to others, and it is disheartening.
The reason that your response meant so much to me is because It helps me to keep the faith that God is really with me, and it isn’t just in my head. Despite all the miraculous things I have witnessed, I started to wonder whether I am delusional and crazy. People look at me and treat me weird because my belief system is not the same as them, but I never judge them like they judge me. I first had problems with my religion because the God of the old testament seemed so different from the God of the new testament in the bible. I found a lot of contradictions in the Bible, and found so many other disturbing things that were not of love at all. The only thing that I feel is correct is to love with everything I have. I feel like God has been guiding me to every single event I witness. I will have something happen to me that will make a big difference in my growth a week or month later. It seems like I am being prepped for every single event in my life so that it will mean more to me. I love my father. I will admit to being confused about some aspects of life, but I will never stop searching. Why can’t I change the world? I know God has something I am intended to do, but just can’t seem to figure it out. Who am I?
On a side note I have been having some very lucid dreams, but still no astral projecting. One dream I almost couldn’t tell if I was in reality or not, but didn’t understand why I was walking in the dark. I was mostly unafraid until I panicked because I thought it might be a dream, but I was have trouble getting out. Why was I in the dark. I keep feeling like I am being prepared for something scary. I feel like my courage is being prepped all the time. I also get weirded out that I was in the dark. Was I in hell? My dreams are usually pretty innocent, and I am helping people in them, but sometimes they get weird. I wonder if I need to overcome some things in the astral realm that I feel I have already beaten here in the physical world. I also need to ask someone in private about something that happened to me, but have been too scared to tell anyone. One day I was in my chair and something forced me to calculate my number according to the bible. I am hoping that was my mind playing tricks on me, but it was disturbing. My wife quickly pointed out that my number was not special because her number was the same, and many people might have the same number, but why did I have the urge to suddenly find my number and it was a bad number. I need my Father to give me more clarity, but it always seems he reveals things to me at the perfect time so hopefully this is just the same kind of thing. Thanks again to everyone for all the great help. I really appreciate all of the responses and help you guys have given me.
Steve,
You are not delusional AND you are asking the right questions. I guarantee you that the people who have read your Comments would have internally smiled and have empathy for you as we have mostly all gone through the same experience.
Steve, you and I have similar backgrounds in more ways than one. I am of Greek Orthodox background BUT in my formative years, that is ages 10 to 18 I attended a Catholic school. Your Catholic background will serve you well as knowledge of the New Testament scriptures will be important as you progress.
The World and Gnosis – Steve again, you are on the RIGHT PATH. How do I know …. you are asking the right questions. When I first began the work I had the same questions, feelings and even suffering like you. Mark taught us about ego and I refused the accept the fact that this “Legion of I’s) ruled my life. You write the “the world is changing and I am having a hard time relating to it.” You do NOT NEED to relate to the world. You only need to relate to the Being inside of you which is the Father, Son and Holy Spirit ,and therefore God. That is why keeping up with the world …..is a waste of time ….. only the spiritual counts. By spiritual I mean working on yourself. Being a Catholic you would know this ….. the world …. belongs to Satan.
CONTRADICTIONS
Gnosis is full of contradiction. It is within the contradiction that the truth is to be found. This is why both the Bible, especially the New Testament is full of contradictions. as are the Nag Hammadi texts. For example the line on one of the texts “…. I am a whore BUT I am a Virgin.” it is hard to explain but within this contradiction lies the truth. Someone has already given you the link to Mark’s talks on the Nag Hammadi texts which are fantastic. Steve I urge you to check out Mark’s talks on selected work from the Nah Hammadi library.
I deliberately told you about seeing my Master in my dream. Steve the God you talk about to quote you directly ” … your response meant so much to me …because it helps me keep the faith that God is really with me …” God is always with us, but it is we who reject God (or our Being) through our thoughts, actions and deeds. Steve, I hope you realise that you too have a Being inside of you, exactly like the one I described. I saw my intimate God through my Being with the flaming sword and the scarlet and yellow robes in accordance with my consciousness ….. which at that time was really low. ALL the flaming sword means is that my Master is active a is your Steve. How do I know your Master is active Steve, because of the great lengths you have taken to write and describe what you are going through.
LUCID Dreaming – Lucid dreaming is very close to astral travel. If you awaken in the dream your are in the astral. Steve remembering, as well as remembering to say conscious is 70% of the work. You are very close.
HOMEWORK – Hopefully you read this. Before going to bed ask the Divine Mother – Mary – for help. Steve you must ask with a clear head and heart, for example, like you would ask your wife for a glass of water. I assure you that if you as with kindness and a clear head and heart she will answer you. It may take up to 2 weeks but my experience has been it will be within days. Simply say, Divine Mother. please show me where I am and what I must do. It always works … ask anyone on the site .. but the key is an open mind and a clear heart.
Say focussed .. relax …. a relaxed mind and peaceful heart will take you far.
It wouldn’t let me reply to your last response so I replied to the previous one. I hope I am not annoying anyone with my huge amount of questions. I noticed in your last response that you called Mary the Divine Mother. I have never understood Mary. I was always so confused why Catholics spent so much time praying to Mary. I didn’t mean any disrespect to Mary, I just thought she was a great human, but didn’t think she had anything to do with the Divine Mother or what I thought might be the feminine part of God. I was always almost offended that my church would spend so much time on Mary, and almost act like Jesus or God was a side note. I have always thought the Holy Spirit was the Divine Mother, but I have always been so confused since it seemed like everyone taught it differently to me. To me, I thought Mary was just a weird Catholic obsession along with the other things that seemed odd like confessing my sins to a Priest. I didn’t understand the concept since Jesus said that if you want to be forgiven you simply need to forgive others. I would always ask God directly for help. It feels horrible typing these things, but I will only tell the truth no matter how bad it makes me seem.
Again, I never meant any disrespect to Mary, and I am positive that when I prayed, I told her that I just didn’t understand any of it. She would definitely be able to see in my heart that I had no ill will, I just didn’t understand. I will definitely ask my Divine Mother for help. I actually asked her for help today before I went to work and got chills everywhere and got sensitive, but only for a few minutes. My head goes so completely numb when I have these experiences. I didn’t allow the feeling to continue on for very long since I needed to go to work, and it might seem strange if I am crying all day. I am not sure why but my spiritual experiences always seem to have me crying even though I am not sad at all. It is almost like a sixth sense where the crying symbolizes the gratefulness for my life, and the gratitude for everything that has been done for me.
The Bible doesn’t seem to really talk about Mary extensively, and I remember passages where I thought it seemed like she wasn’t being good like when she told jesus to turn water into wine. I would really love to understand my Divine Mother more.
Also, when People talk about being more aware during the day, are they just meaning to be more aware of their surroundings, whether it be the birds chirping and nature in general or just someones feelings that might go unnoticed if I weren’t paying attention.
One last question. I am noticing that my will is going totally against nature now. If someone were to come up to me and kill me, I don’t think I would fight back since that takes anger to accomplish. What if someone broke into my house? Do I allow them to kill me which in turn would allow them to kill and maybe rape my children and etc. Is it ok to defend someone from this harm? I don’t know this answer. I almost thought it would be ok, but then again, God let his son be slaughter and didn’t intervene. I will quit for now. My questions are endless and I feel like I am missing so much of the story that maybe we aren’t allowed to know while we are on earth.
Hi Steve,
You may find this article by Lara interesting https://belsebuub.com/articles/reestablishing-the-feminine-in-godhead-the-role-of-the-mother-goddess-in-divinity she references ancient texts from the Essenes and the Nag Hammadi Library, and others that talk about the Mother having a place in the divine trinity, and how Jesus had women disciples, and touches on why the Mother role and reference to woman disciples were left out of the main Christian texts.
In regards to your questions about awareness – it’s being aware of the outside world and what is going on inside internally, like thoughts and emotions.
Here are some articles that explain more about awareness:
https://belsebuub.com/articles/how-to-be-aware
https://belsebuub.com/articles/inner-peace-and-the-awareness-of-the-present-moment
https://belsebuub.com/articles/being-aware-in-the-present-moment-and-seeing-within
We each have a responsibility to protect and defend ourselves and our families from harm or danger. Practicing awareness and responding to situations without ego/emotional states like anger, does not mean a person would not protect themselves or their families from danger or harm.
Take care and wishing you all the best in your spiritual search
Hi Steve,
It sounds like you’ve been reflecting a lot recently on some important issues, in your search to understand the deeper meaning of life. I think Jenny passed on some useful articles about awareness, which give some very practical tips on how to practice it correctly – being aware of both the outer world and our own inner world of thoughts, emotions etc. The article she shared about the role of the divine mother in spirituality is also very good and should hopefully answer some of your questions in that area too. As mentioned in that article and in The Path of the Spiritual Sun, the feminine aspect of the divine appears in various manifestations in many religions and cultures throughout the world, including Mary in Christianity.
The feminine aspect of the divine plays an important role in eliminating our egos in a permanent way. You may find this talk helpful, as it explains more about this process:
https://www.belsebuub.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Ask_Belsebuub_The_Death_of_the_Egos.mp3
I would also highly recommend listening to Mark’s commentaries on The Nag Hammadi library, which I shared previously, as they do give a much deeper perspective on the Christian teachings, which is often lacking in mainstream Christianity. I think it’s good to keep in mind that some of Jesus’ most profound teachings were not selected for inclusion in the Bible by the Council of Nicaea, as they posed a threat to the establishment at the time. These texts may have been lost completely, had they not been buried by those who wanted to preserve them, remaining unknown until more recent times.
It seems the omission of these more esoteric Christian texts from The Bible has had the effect of watering down a very powerful message that can be found in Jesus’ teachings. Like you, I also struggled to find any real depth in the Catholic masses, or in the services of other Christian denominations. To be honest, I found them to be a bit like a “Jesus fan club”, where people would meet once a week and try to act in accordance with Christian principles for that hour or so, but then often overlook those values once the service was over.
I don’t mean that as a criticism of any particular group of followers, as obviously it’s much better that there are people at least making an attempt to follow a more spiritual life, rather than just wantonly embracing their egos. But it seems that something much more fundamental needs to change within us, if we want to really live out the teachings of any spiritual figure. This is something that Jesus showed through his own life, which as Mark explains, symbolises the many trials faced by the initiate who walks the path to enlightenment.
I think the issue of needing to turn theory into practice applies equally to those of us who are trying to follow these more esoteric teachings, as it’s one thing to understand what we need to do intellectually, but another thing to apply that knowledge consistently to our lives. This is something I’ve often had difficulties with over the years, and I’m sure it’s something that many of us can relate to. For example, I’ve had times where I seemed to be acting in a more peaceful or calm way, but then a change of circumstances have brought up hidden emotions within, which have been a struggle to fight against.
Fortunately, I’ve found the techniques given in these teachings have been very effective in helping to overcome some of these inner states. It seems to be a gradual thing though, as there is so much that we need to uncover within us and so much that is still unknown to us.
It’s good you feel you have strong guidance at this time. I think that objective guidance is very important, as it can be so easy for us to go off on our own tangents without it. I’ve never really been predisposed to having mystical experiences easily and much of that side of life remains completely unknown to me. So I’ve mainly approached this work from the perspective of changing my own psychology. But although I’ve approached things from a more sceptical kind of perspective, I’ve still has enough evidence to build faith that the techniques given in these teaching do actually work if we apply them. That faith has allowed me to build more of a connection with the divine and ask for guidance.
I listened to a couple of Mark’s talks on the importance of asking the divine for guidance this week, which you may also find useful:
https://www.belsebuub.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Belsebuubs_Weekly_Talk_Asking_part1.mp3
https://www.belsebuub.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Belsebuubs_Weekly_Talk_Asking_part2.mp3
I was still relatively new to these teachings when I heard the first of these two talks and it was a wake-up call that I didn’t necessarily want to hear at the time. But in retrospect, I can see that there is a lot of truth in what Mark speaks about. I often listen to different talks while I’m working in the kitchen etc. and although I’ve heard all of them many times over, I always get a boost from hearing them again.
Regarding the lucid dream you had, I wouldn’t say that being in the dark within a dream necessarily means we are experiencing being in hell at that time. I’ve had quite a few lucid dreams where it has been dark, but I’ve just been walking around the house. One possibility could just be that I was seeing things at home as they were (which was dark, due to it being night time). Or another possibility could be that I just wasn’t conscious enough, so the experience became dim and murky, as it was clouded by my subconscious.
I think it’s good that you’ve seen dreams in which you’re helping people, as in our dreams we have the option to do whatever our subconscious wants, without limitation. So it’s nice that you are still making the choice to try and help people even when you’re asleep. One thing I’ve found useful is to look at the people who are appearing in my dreams with me. I generally have fairly everyday dreams, rather than sci-fi fantasy type dreams, and although I thought these more mundane dreams were preferable to crazy dreams, I wondered what I could really learn from them. Then when I started paying attention to the people I was with in them, I could see more of a clear perspective, as I often find myself with old school friends, who I associate with particular ways of behaving, or sometimes with people from the past who I didn’t particularly get on with, but who had particular characteristics, such as aggression.
Sometimes it’s still tricky to really work out the significance of certain dreams, but I generally try to look out for related inner states during the day, whenever I see one of those characters in a dream. This is something that Mark has recommended a few times in his talks and it seems useful in spotting the small manifestations of egos, which can easily go unnoticed.
I hope some of these tips will be useful, but I would say it will be even more useful to explore more of the talks, articles etc., as these can explain things in a much deeper way than I can. I personally found that these teachings shed light on many of the questions I’d been asking while searching for answers from exploring conventional psychology, Christianity, Buddhism, Vedic traditions, the paranormal etc. I found they drew together these seemingly different threads of knowledge in an easy to understand, but much more profound way. Although, of course, the real answers come when we try to apply that information to our own lives.
Again, I wish you success in finding the answers to these and many more questions about the mysteries of life and death, through your own investigations.
Thanks for sharing this experience Steve – it sounds like it was very meaningful for you and has given you cause for a lot of reflection. It’s great that you’re making a conscious effort to increase the love you feel towards others. I would say that by practicing the fundamental techniques that allow us to change our psychology, this feeling of love can only increase. So much of our behaviour is usually self-centred, but by understanding ourselves, we also develop more understanding and love towards others. I’ve thought back on many of the things I’ve said or done in the past, and have winced at how insensitive these behaviours were towards others, and yet at the time I was blinkered to the harm they were causing to those around me.
I think asking the divine part within us for guidance is also very useful, as you have mentioned. It’s good to develop this relationship and to recognise and be open to guidance, as so many of our judgements can be clouded by the state of our own psychology. One of the ultimate aims of this work is to fully integrate the divine aspect within ourselves, so that we merge with it. But that’s something that is much better explained by someone who has actually gone through this process, like Mark, rather than someone like me who is only just starting out on that journey.
I would really recommend listening to Mark’s story, which can be found here: http://belsebuubbiography.com/family-background-and-childhood/
I’ve listened to these talks so many times, but am always inspired by how an ordinary guy managed to achieve incredible things in his life through consistent and dedicated efforts to change. I can also relate a lot to many of the everyday circumstances and events of Mark’s life and connect very much with that need to search for something spiritual that is practical and real, but not knowing where to find it.
Like Mark, I searched for spiritual things for some years before finding these teachings and ended up veering towards atheism, as I got put off by the amount of misleading pseudo-spiritual information out there, which often seemed to be just a figment of people’s imaginations, or relied too heavily on beliefs, rather than direct experience. But as soon as I attended a lecture given by The Gnostic Movement, which Mark was previously the co-ordinator of, I knew I had found something worth pursuing.
That particular lecture was actually on Christian Gnosticism and I would highly recommend listening to Mark’s commentaries on The Gnostic Gospels from The Nag Hammadi Library, as they really put the teachings of Jesus and his disciples into a much broader and more profound context. Coming from a Christian background myself, I found these commentaries to be truly inspiring and moving. They were able to join the dots of all the things that never really made sense in mainstream Christianity, while giving a sense of that real connection with the divine and how we can develop the love we feel inside in a genuine and permanent way. You can find the talks here: https://belsebuub.com/audio/commentaries-on-the-nag-hammadi-library
Regarding astral experiences, although they can indeed be a great source of knowledge, for me they are a supplementary thing, rather than the main focus. Mark has also mentioned that unless we tackle our psychology fundamentally, the type of astral experiences we can have will also tend to be limited, due to the effects of the subconscious upon our perception of reality. However, I still think astral experiences are a worthwhile pursuit and I regret not dedicating more time to practicing astral techniques consistently and regularly, when I had more of an opportunity to do so.
I’m certainly no expert on astral projection, as my own astral experiences are generally limited to waking up in dreams, but I have many friends who have had much more profound astral experiences than mine and felt they were a great boost. Part of the reason that I haven’t had so much success with astral projection is that my interest in self-knowledge has been much greater, so I have tended to put much more effort into those practices than my astral practices. I’ve found the techniques described on this site and in other aspects of Mark’s teachings have shown very tangible results in the area of self-knowledge, more so than any of the techniques I’ve tried elsewhere, which has been a big motivator in continuing to practice them.
It’s great to see someone who is searching for something outside of what mainstream knowledge can offer us and I wish you a lot of strength and guidance in pursuing your spiritual search as far as you can.
Hi again Steve,
I wanted to comment on the problem you shared about struggling to overcome lust, as it’s an important issue that all of us face. It’s also an issue that applies to all of humanity, unless we do the work to change ourselves, regardless of how pious we may appear at face value.
As you mentioned, although we may try to run away from lust, it can still be there bubbling away beneath the surface. Fortunately, there is a way of using the sexual energies for a spiritual purpose though, which you may have heard of as tantrism, or alchemy. The common understanding of alchemy is that it refers to the process of turning lead into gold, but this is actually symbolic of something spiritual, which can be done within a person. These two articles go into much more depth about the difference between lust and sacred sexuality:
https://belsebuub.com/articles/enlightenment-is-hidden-in-sex
https://belsebuub.com/articles/sexual-desires-and-inner-darkness
It looks like you are reflecting on some big issues that we all face and want to do whatever you can do overcome them. There’s so much practical knowledge on this site that we can apply to our own lives and use to gain our own experience, so I think you’ve found a great place to help you search for some of the answers you’re looking for and wish you every success in your journey.
I’ve been feeling this urge to go back Home since I was a child; it’s been stronger sometimes and weaker some other times, but it’s always there.
It was really amazing to watch this video clarifying why that is so.
Thanks a lot for posting.
Does anyone know how to download Mark’s books on astral projection. It seems the website doesn’t allow the downloads anymore, and I really want to find a way to astral project. I have been trying for 6-8 months and haven’t had any success. I have had a spiritual awakening and need to find out what I am supposed to do with my life. I have beaten all of my desires for materials on this earth, but now everything on earth seems material and I am feeling trapped in my body and don’t want to be on this earth even though my life is perfect. I have a wonderful family and life, but feel completely disconnected from earth, and I hate myself for ever having bad thoughts. I feel I am meant for a particular task, but don’t know what it is. Thanks in advance for any help.
Hi Steve,
Welcome :)
I tried to reply to the email you sent in regarding getting access to the Astral Codex, but your email provider bounced the email back.
The eBooks have been taken offline because they are being too extensively plagiarized, as explained by Mark here https://belsebuub.com/the-plagiarism-of-this-work-is-too-extensive. The situation is very unfortunate and we are very sad that the eBooks are down right now. We’re looking into ways of how to release them in a more secure way, and are also working to make the books available in print, which hopefully in the next two weeks The Astral Codex will be available in paperback, with the other books to follow. The Awakening of Perception is available in paperback on Amazon
In the meantime, on Belsebuub.com, there is a topic section dedicated to Dreams and OBEs – with different articles and videos by Belsebuub on the subject https://belsebuub.com/out-of-body-experiences-and-dreams, and this website in general is a great resource of spiritual knowledge that can be explored.
We also publish a YouTube show called Total View, and a while ago it did a series on Astral Projection and OBEs, where people who’ve read and explored what’s written in The Astral Codex share their experiences– checking out a few of those episodes may be helpful as well:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7c0S2w_LxDL6538sakB7gXM0XicQl8Dx
You may be interested to know that we also publish a website called The Spiritual Sun. The website is a project that compiles research – drawing upon sacred texts, scientific discoveries, archaeological clues and prominent personal accounts to unveil the hidden potential of consciousness, and the lost spirituality of the sun/son, which various ancient cultures understood and used to attain spiritual transformation. The website also explores the topic of Astral Travel and Dreams. In the future, the project plans to have meetups, as we mention here in our blog http://mysticallifepublications.org/the-spiritual-sun-website-and-project
Hopefully with checking out these other resources, you’ll get some information and tips that will help you succeed with astral projection, and experience for yourself consciousness outside of the physical body :)
You’re among friends , as many here I’m sure relate to the feeling that there is more to life beyond just what we see and what goes on in our day to day life. In our view, the most important thing to do is to get self-knowledge, which is to learn about ourselves by seeing how we respond to life and to the things that happen in it, and then learning how to change. In the articles, videos, and audio talks on the site, Mark shares his experience and insights into these topics.
You can keep checking back to Belsebuub.com for updates on the books, or if you like, we could email you when any books come out in print or the eBooks are re-released. I did submit a ticket with your email provider so our emails can reach you :)
Wishing you all the best in your spiritual journey.
Jenny
Thank you Steve for sharing your situation and open up yourself into this forum.
Me and others as far I know we face similar questions/troubles or we have reached to a point like a dead end or feeling this gap inside or not been satisfied inside a conventional life ans so on…
I hope/wish you to find the tools which are being provided from the web-sites Jenny mentioned, in order you to use them and to come closer to answers, experiences and what you are really looking for. There is so much help there!!
Hopefully when the meetups will start we’ll have the chance to meet there too.
All the best!
I really appreciate the reply from Fotis and Jenny. I am hoping I can make a breakthrough and get on to the next step with the information that Jenny provided. Which book is more important for astral projection? The awakening of perception or the astral codex book? I have had some weird and miraculous things happen to me. I also was allowed to feel sinless for a short time, and now I am not close to that point again and need to be that person that never wants to sin again forever. I think I have lashed out a bit because I feel like I can barely breath in this body. I feel so claustrophobic in my body and want out badly. I can feel the sinful nature of my body and absolutely despise its nature. To give you an idea of where I am at spiritually, I will give some insight. My mother died a year and a few months ago. My life changed dramatically and for the next 6 months I prayed constantly, researched the bible and science, and asked God for help. One day after praying for a while, my body started getting goose bumps continuously while praying. I then began to cry all the time for no reason. I could hardly talk to people because I kept crying. I was so compassionate to everything and every one. I had a love that can’t be described. My life was transforming. I would go through such great love, and have a couple of days throughout the month that were outliers where it seemed like God let the Devil have me and I would get so depressed about life.
A month later my brother whom I work with got served divorce papers and he had no clue it was coming. I was right by him and got the worst feeling ever. I could feel every single thing he was feeling and even read his thoughts for a moment only. I could feel how connected we all are.
I also had a weird happening that I have only told my wife about. I was sitting in my chair watching tv when something popped into my mind to go to my desk and add up the numbers of my birthdate and then do another mathematical calculation from it. The resulting numbers bother me a bunch. Maybe I will open up about it someday. My last major happening was when I was praying and my normal chills and goosebumps were present but then I had a numbness and and tingling in my head. I am not sure what happened, but it almost felt like some energy was either coming in or leaving. It felt like a cap on my head had opened.
I have felt like someone is right by my side sometimes giving my insight and instructions. I have these question that I ask God and will feel like someone from inside of me is giving me the answers I want. Also, I don’t think I have ever been aware of astral travel, but one single time I felt like I was suddenly this cartoon character name the tasmanian devil and I spun like a tornado to get out of my body. I remember leaving the room and that was about all I remember so it was probably just a dream.
That is the full extent of what has happened to me. I hope to gain knowledge and get back to being like I was earlier when I was full of love and compassion. I want to change the world. I don’t really care what happens to me, but I want to help the people of this world and lead them by a good example. Sorry I went on so long. Thanks for the information you have provided me to get started. Also, are there meet ups anywhere close to me? I live in Topeka, Kansas in the USA.
Hi Steve, welcome!
It seems like you have been through a lot in the last couple of months, and it also looks like you are getting some spiritual help, which is wonderful! I have also found this information and Belsebuub’s teachings after some turbulent happenings in my life, and I could also feel the guidance from within and above, literally giving me insights that I haven’t had previously.
So, great to have you here and hope you can start making your way through all this info. :-)
Regarding your questions about astral projection, The Astral Codex is better if you want to focus on AP. As it is not currently available, you may want to check some old videos from the old Astral Course by Belsebuub, which can help you to get started. There are a few of them posted here: http://rememberingthegnosticmovement.com/video/
You may want to start with the following ones:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SeiqdoJSpw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esV4-YqbbMw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IxMU1O7sS0
practicing them for at least a week or so, and then gradually adding more practices for developing concentration, which is a must if you want to astral project:
https://belsebuub.com/articles/concentration-and-visualization-for-astral-projection-and-meditation
Ok, that should keep you busy for a while I think. :-)
All the best with your practices and welcome again!
No worries Steve. Yes it’s sounds like you have been through some pretty hard times recently. It’s interesting how trying times have us reflect on the bigger picture in life, what really matters, and inspires a yearning to find and connect with the spiritual. I’ve been there and can definitely relate. I hope you find what you are searching for.
The Meet-ups haven’t started yet and it’s not known yet where they will be, or when they will start :) You can keep checking back here or on the Spiritual Sun Website, or we can let you know via email when the Meet-ups are starting and if there is anything in your area.
Lucia gave you some good tips, and yes I agree that The Astral Codex will provide more guidance on how to astral project than The Awakening of Perception. I know that a lot of people who read this blog have had experiences with Astral Projection and exploring what’s written in The Astral Codex. I bet if you ask for tips or if there is a point you are stuck with, people here would be happy to share their experience and what works for them :)
Jenny, thank you for you comments. I forgot to tell you that I have received every email from this site telling me when a comment has been made to this blog so those emails are getting through. I just wanted to let you know that since you said your personal email got sent back when you tried to respond to me. Maybe I mistyped my email address on the contact us page.
I also wanted to comment on what you said about trying times helping us to reflect. It is so true. When my Mom died, I was devastated to the point I stopped functioning. I have never left my Mom. My wife and I moved next door to my Mom and Dad after we got married so I never had to move away and adapt like most people. When my Mom finally lost her battle with cancer, I couldn’t see what was in front of me. I would have never spiritually awakened without this loss. Its almost as if it was a sacrifice for me. My wife has more bad days than I do about my Moms death anymore even though it was me that couldn’t function for the first 6 months. I realize that her soul is fine and I am so happy for her. I can’t wait until the day my soul finally gets freed. I feel like I have learned so much even if I always fail at astral projecting. Something inside of me has given me answers to issues I have never been able to answer on my own. I feel like the inside voice gives me answers by asking me questions that make the answers easy for me to understand which was much needed for me since I was so disturbed with the God of the old testament and many things in it like for example women not being equal to men which seems absurd to me. I would love to get into more detail with the voice from within but I am not quite ready to completely open up in an open blog. A lot of my Catholic family thinks I might have gone crazy because my beliefs are so changed, but they can’t deny the love that comes from me. How can it be wrong if it is only of good.
Lastly, I will explain what is happening to me when I try to Astral project so that maybe someone might have some suggestions. Most the time I will try to meditate and be aware before falling to sleep. After about 15-20 minutes I start to itch badly and it makes me scratch which ruins everything because I can’t stop itching and then suddenly I fall asleep. Every so often I don’t feel itchy, but still have the same result. I usually just fall asleep after so much time passes. Even after my body gets a little numb I still end up falling asleep. I have also tried astral projecting with special music but it doesn’t seem to help and sometimes even causes me trouble because the beats sometimes have an evil feel to them. Every once in a while I will meditate during lunch time while listening to christian music. While doing this I did have something happen. One time I started getting this crazy feeling like a muscle between my eyes but on my forehead was moving. It was kind of a weird feeling. The other time it was neat because I got relaxed enough that the music stopped coming from the speakers and the music was completely in my head. It was such a 3d music experience. I had to wake myself to see if what was happening was real. I wanted to make sure the music was still playing on the stereo and it was, but when I woke myself the music went back to normal coming from the speakers and it was a totally different experience. One last thing is that my house seems a little bit creepy at night. The things that happen definitely make me and my wife uneasy. At night I feel like some entity might be waiting for me to project. This feeling goes away in the morning. Nothing creepy happens when the light come into the house. I almost feel like something is stopping me from projecting for my own safety even though sometimes I feel strong enough to not be worried about any evil entities. Thanks in advance for any help you can give me.
There is also some videos from the old astral course onhttp://rememberingthegnosticmovement.com/video/ you may like to watch
I was in the audience for this talk. The retreat itself was awesome, and I had many great experiences.
Thanks for sharing this video now.
Thank you deeply Marl for this beautiful, strong talk. A great reminder and help to start the day. Thank you for all the continuous guidance and support from these latest videos, it’s been a unique, precious help for me, thank you.
I’ve learned a lot thanks to these techniques and it’s been the only way that I’ve managed to find real happiness in my life. I’ve also discovered that real self knowledge is so important to verify these teachings and such a massive boost to push forward.
I’ve got a to learn and uncover but I’m very thankful to have been blessed by finding the teachings of Belsebuub.
Great video, very inspiring. Thanks Mark.
hello!
its great to see these talks posted.
is the audio of https://belsebuub.com/articles/removing-some-of-the-obstacles-to-love on the website?
reading is good, but also sometimes nice to listen as it gives a bit more feeling.
wishing you all the fire that makes you strive for truth.
steve b
:-)
Thank you.
Very powerful talk, thank you Mark.
It’s been great to listen to this talk early in the morning – to be reminded about what is important in the day and to fight to increase that light inside of me.
I remember being at that talk. Truly, it was among the most inspiring talks I’ve ever heard. In particular that description of extracting the light from the darkness and going home, to the Absolute, as a light that shines permanently touches me in a way I can’t quite express. It evokes such a deep longing to achieve this inner work and fully develop my consciousness. I’m left almost at a loss for words, except those you see in this post ;-)
Thanks for the video!
Despite the loss of words, I think you put it really well Mike. I was there too, and feel the same way.